


Bowser and the Burly Bean Team

by SkyWrites



Category: Mario & Luigi RPG (Video Games), Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Mario Bros. (Video Games)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Boss Fight, Gen, Humor, POV Bowser, POV First Person, Villains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:06:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24431053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyWrites/pseuds/SkyWrites
Summary: Gahahaha!Cackletta and that annoying little bean boy are trying to break through my castle! Probably just got beaten by some pesky plumbers and are looking for a way to get back at them!Well, I'm about to give her a taste of what a REAL villain looks like! SHOWTIME!
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	Bowser and the Burly Bean Team

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of a re-imagining. Takes place after the Mario and Luigi beat Cackletta the first time in Superstar Saga. I know Kammy wasn't in these games, but I like her a lot, and she fits well with all RPG Bowsers. 
> 
> I just wanted to make my own scene where Cackletta and Bowser have a face off.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading.

She busted her way into my castle.

MY castle! No one busts into my castle but me! And maybe some old plumbers and a couple of moldy mushrooms and a princess I guess, and sometimes Goombas and other ex-minions and this one time a huge sword with a buncha weird robots…

BUT NOT OLD BEAN LADIES!

That’s where I draw the line!

I’m Bowser, damn it! King of the Koopas! When people think of villains, you know who they think of first? ME. I’m king of the villains! I’m the toughest guy, the roughest guy, the downright _rudest_ guy! Yeah! I’m not about to let someone’s grandma take my spot!

But… Urk…

“She’s blasted through our Hammer Bros. battalion, Your Nastiness,” Kammy Koopa said without a tinge of emotion.

“You gotta be kidding me!” I slammed my big scaly fist down on the iron table. Chains rattled (They’re _peak_ villain. You always have rattling chains. ALWAYS. That’s just villain décor 101.) and the Crystal Ball teeter tottered. “Is this thing working?! Are you sure it’s working?!”

Kammy the Magikoopa groaned and used a wrinkled hand to keep the Crystal Ball in place. Calling Kammy a Magikoopa was a bit of a disgrace to her. She was better than any Magikoopa. Maybe even better than Kamek! Although, I haven’t heard from that guy in a long time. He went away around the same time Kammy showed up. Maybe she was so much better than him he was too ashamed to show his face to me? Don’t blame him.

“It’s working just fine, Your Blindness,” Kammy said, voice tinged with annoyance. I’d never let a minion ever talk to me like that, but Kammy was different. “It’s not like my Crystal Ball can just show me some other channel.”

I peered into the Crystal Ball’s glowing surface. Hmm… My hair was a little lopsided. There! Fixed. And, wait, a little smudge here. I breathed on it, accidently engulfing the thing in flames. Luckily, Kammy made sure to fireproof these things. I wiped the soot off and got a clear view of the action.

There she was! That green old hag! That stupid bean and her stupider minion! Cackletta and Fawful! What kind of villain only has _one_ minion anyway?! Ugh, and the way she just casually blasted through my castle! Rude! So rude! You’re supposed to jump over the lava, wait for the Podoboos to fall down, dodge the fire bar on the other side, and then maybe _if you’re lucky_ you can take a jump at a Hammer Bro.

But she wasn’t doing any of that! She didn’t respect my castle’s layout or all the effort I put into designing it! She was just walking _around_ everything! Like in a 3D space! You can’t do that until you hit the designated 3D zone! She floated over gaps, she laughed at my fire bars, and she zapped my Hammer Bros. from way too far away! They didn’t even get the chance to throw a hammer yet! That’s their _thing!_ Hello?!?!

“She can’t hear you,” Kammy said with a sigh.

“I am telling you; we’ve _got_ to install some speakers around the place!” I said. Imagine, you’re trying to jump through my dangerous and deadly traps, and you have to listen to me harass you the whole time! Gahahaha! Actually, hm, wait, my dulcet tones would probably soothe any possible intruder. “Scratch that.”

The little Beanish people on the Crystal Ball were cackling manically. The little one, known as Fawful, was using some kind of weird vacuum-like contraption on his head and sucking up my Thwomps and just shooting them out all over the castle! You… you can’t do that! That’s not how this works!

“Don’t worry, Your Gruesomeness,” Kammy said, her even tone keeping me cool as always. “She has yet to even start the battles with the Koopalings.”

Ha! That’s true! Those guys… they’re not very good, but boy do they stall an otherwise short adventure! By the time Cackletta reaches me, she’ll be so tired, she’ll give up at the sight of my brute strength! Except, wait, why did she stop at Lemmy’s door? Maybe she was already giving up?

She hunched down and whispered something to that little cretin, Fawful. Her fangs grinded together into a tight sneer that made the spikes stand on end. Eugh. Creepy. It was like her ugly bloodshot eyes were looking right at me. But that’s not possible, right?

“Absolutely not,” Kammy assured me. “We’re not using a camera system here. This is all magic.”

Ahh. Magic. Good ol’ unexplainable, unpredictable magic. I didn’t understand it, hence the unexplainable bit there, but Kammy sure did! If anyone knew how it worked, it was her. Cackletta and her crony were walking towards us in the Crystal Ball’s image, but that just meant she was walking _away_ from any meaningful progress! Ha! Idiot! Didn’t even get a checkpoint!

“Uhh…” Kammy grumbled, not assuring me at all. “Uhh…”

“What’s going on!?” I yelled. The intruders were leaving, surely, but if something broke Kammy’s composure, then something was wrong.

“There’s… there’s supposed to be a wall?” Kammy sputtered, her ruby wand glimmering with light. Cackletta and Fawful were getting closer and closer in the Crystal Ball, walking towards us and getting bigger and bigger. “What… what are they doing?!”

“Turn that stupid thing off!” I ordered. This was getting weird, and it was time to take action. Cackletta’s toothy grin was in way more detail than I’d ever want to see!

“I…” Kammy gulped. She pulled her wrinkled hands off the Crystal Ball. “I… can’t?”

The Crystal Ball didn’t show my castle anymore. It was green, dark green, and all smiles. Swirly glasses fogged up Kammy’s vision, and giant square teeth opened wide, laughing all the way.

“Then let me show you why brawn always beats brain!” I said super cool-like, smashing the Crystal Ball into a million pieces with my fist. Ha! Didn’t even hurt! It felt good, too! Smashing those smug faces in, punching their weird teeth right out of their skulls. “Gahaha!” I laughed. My laugh was so cool. Way better than any cackles.

Kammy stumbled back, the few teeth left in her head chittering and chattering as she shivered. What was her deal!? I fixed the problem! Maybe I should have given her a bit more warning before breaking her equipment… she did scold me for that more than a few times. I’d apologize to her later.

“L-Lord Bowser…” she barely managed to say. That’s not good. She’s supposed to come up with a witty way to say like _Your Nastiness_ or _Your Super Coolness_ or whatever.

I looked back at the remains of the Crystal Ball. Something was off. The shadows around it weren’t right? Were too dark? Like a… like a pit straight out of a Saturday morning cartoon! Ha, I loved those. But this wasn’t those. It was dark. Really dark. You fall down these and nobody’s laughing but some sick twisted freak.

The darkness squirmed and squealed between my fingers where I had smashed it. Gross! Was this like magic’s guts or something?! Why wasn’t it dead? I shook it off my hand like I just dipped it in sewer water. It was basically the same thing! Granny guts! Yuck!

But I just splashed little bits of darkness and shadow all across my throne room. Kammy looked upon it, her old beak wide open in awe and fear. She threw her hands up, rod shining a bright ruby red. The darkness didn’t obey. It pooled itself onto the red carpet before me, disgusting and slimy.

“I’m getting tired of thiGRAAAH!” I didn’t even bother finishing my sentence, belching a torrent of flames onto the black magic. Fire engulfed the carpet, burning it into a shadowy crisp. These kinds of things happened a lot. We had replacement red carpet in the closet, no big deal.

But that darkness, that black, that magic was still there! A smug stain on my castle bricks, an inkblot that I could only interpret as a stupid old bean! **GET LOST!**

Even when I burned a hole into my own castle, that other hole was still there. Still! Like a disgusting cockroach, it skittered to the side, laughing at my attempts to set it aflame. You know what?! Screw it! Let the stupid darkness form! See if I care!

“Eeeyah ha ha ha!” a raspy voice crackled, tinged with insanity. An annoying higher pitched laughter followed, seemingly trying to emulate the older one. Both appeared before me, grinning like they just kicked a puppy and got away with it.

“Well well well!” Cackletta started unoriginally, her broken spine slumping over me. How was she so tall? Taller than me?! Creepy. “What a nice place you’ve got here Bowser buddy!”

I felt the flames of rage boiling in my stomach, but I held my tongue. She wasn’t attacking just yet, and I saw no reason to ruin my throne room more than necessary.

“What do you want old hag?!” I demanded. I know Kammy doesn’t like me using that term anymore, but Cackletta really burned my beans! I’d apologize about that later as well.

“Have a watch of your tone, fink-rat!” Fawful screeched, bits of spittle trickling down his enormous teeth. “You have the speakings to the great Cackletta!”

“Watch _MY_ tone?!” I screamed, stomping so hard that the chandeliers shook. “I’ll stir-fry you, you little-!”

“Now now, let’s all just calm down!” Cackletta hissed through a sneer. “Fawful?”

“Yes, Oh Great Cackletta?”

Her fangs twisted into a smile. “Shut up.”

He nodded silently. Ugh! What a suck up! My minions have a little more backbone than that! Although… okay, gotta hand it to her, the _‘Oh Great Blahblahwhoever’_ part is pretty good. I might have to start going by _‘Oh Great Bowser’_ every now and then.

“Now then, listen, Bowser…” Cackletta slithered up to me, her form shifting like the shadow of a flame on a windy night.

“That’s King Bowser to you,” I demanded. She would show me respect! I’m a king! I have a castle and an army! That makes me a king! I say so!

“Yes, whatever,” she waved me off so infuriatingly. “Listen, Bowser, I don’t want to fight you.”

I blinked. Everything about this woman was disingenuous. She’d sell her own Beanish people for just a thumbtack of power.

“Don’t trust her, Lord Bowser!” Kammy Koopa shouted from behind, voice cracking.

“I said **SHUT UP!** ” Cackletta screeched, her jaw seemingly dislocating as her mouth grew ten times in size. What the actual-

“Nobody talks to Kammy that way but me!” I roared. “And I don’t talk to her that way anymore! It’s disrespectful and doesn’t help morale!” I grabbed that stupid old bean by her stupid cliché bat cloak and attempted to hold her up in the air. Her form merely stretched upwards. I never caught a glimpse of her feet. “Get to the point! What. Do. You. Want!?”

She sneered and slithered out of my grip with ease, appearing before me once again. “Why that’s quite easy, Bowser Boy! I want what you want! To get rid of some pesky plumbers!”

I growled but didn’t reach for her wrinkly old face again. “Ah. The old classic team up, huh? Those annoying middle-aged nobodies beat you up too?”

And at that, her grin finally flipped into a scowl. “They did not beat me! I merely allowed them to think they had won so I could strategize!”

It was my turn to flash a fang filled smile. “Yeah, that’s what I used to say years ago too.” I knew where this was going. I stomped up the steps and sat back against my comfy throne, trying to look down on Cackletta. Weirdly, it seemed like she just got taller… “So, you want my help beating them.”

“You could say that,” Cackletta hissed.

“All right all right,” I sighed. “I’ll have Kammy get the necessary papers for you to sign for our team up. Just so you know, I get dibs on Final Boss, all right? No exceptions, no matter what happens. And I reserve the right to betray you at any time if I feel I don’t like your stupid face anymore.”

“Oh! Hmph! You misunderstand me, oaf,” Cackletta said with another grin.

“You know what? I’m gonna revise my villain team-up agreement and say everyone must refer to me at least as King Bowser.”

“I want your help,” Cackletta repeated once again, ignoring me. “And I’m going to take it.”

“Listen lady-”

“Here’s MY agreement,” Cackletta interrupted. It felt as though she stole the voice right out of my mouth! How dare she! “I will take this castle of yours and all your minions. I will take your army, I will take your things, I will take _everything_ as it belongs to me. Understand?”

“You’re crazier than I thought,” I said, pushing aside whatever magical hold she thought she had on me. “You really want to go up against me?”

“Oh, I don’t. But I assume you’re going to try and stop me anyway, hm?” She tilted her head way too much. Her neck should have been broken.

“Quit tryin’ to make me sound like the good guy here!” I stood tall, looking up at her defiantly. Wait, looking up? How was she still looking down at me!? “I’m gonna enjoy knocking the teeth out of you.”

“Go ahead and try! Eeyah ha ha ha!”

I snapped my huge claws, loving how cool it looked. “Kammy! Hit me with your burliest spell!”

I waited for the surge of magical energy to run through my claws, through my teeth. Waited for the flames billowing in my stomach to grow hotter, waited for the spikes at my back to grow even spikier! And… er… still waiting…

“Kammy, what’s the hold up!?” I didn’t want to take my eyes off that cackling witch for a second, but I had no choice.

“Eeyah ha ha ha ha!” an annoying little voice laughed. Fawful had silently sucked up Kammy in that stupid mouthy vacuum of his. Kammy’s tiny legs kicked in frustration, the front of her torso stuck in the suction of Fawful’s mouth. “Your minion has such a weakness! Nothing compared to Fawful! A strong pungent mustard pales to your weak bland ketchup!”

Ugh. Mustard fan. Made sense. I swiped Fawful, enraged by his terrible taste in condiments. Oh! Also because he had Kammy.

His jetpack pulled him out of my claws range just in time, but not without me shredding a little bit of that clammy green skin of his. Fawful cried out, but Cackletta glared, as if to say, ‘What? You a weakling? You gonna cry? My minion doesn’t cry.’

He composed himself, trying to grin again. “S-so! You have the wishing for your precious Koopa the Kammy, yes? Well! Be having her! Ptooey!” In a disgusting move both physically and morally, he spat out Kammy from the vacuum straight at my incredibly hard and spiky body.

Using my lightning fast reflexes, I dodged out of the way, saving Kammy the trouble of hitting her old lady skull against my diamond-like shell. Instead she landed face first into the castle tile, safe, sound, and already fast asleep. Ha! I’m so thoughtful and smart I even impress myself sometimes!

Still, this was no time to be worrying about Kammy. Cackletta saw a dirty opportunity to strike, and she took it. Here’s the problem with Cackletta, though. She’s used to fighting those goody goody plumbers. Her cheats, her lies, they’re all _so_ effective on little babies with morals like them. Me, though? I’m not so weighed down by that.

In a cunning move, I snatched up Kammy’s unconscious body from the rubble, barely avoiding Cackletta’s weird stretchy claws. She thought she had me, thought she tricked me! Well, joke’s on her. I invented fighting dirty! I slammed Kammy’s body against Cackletta’s like a bat against a bat! Hag vs hag! Residual magic burned from Kammy’s body, zapping Cackletta’s ugly face, and making it that much uglier.

“Gahahaha! You think I need minions to beat you?!” I said, gently placing Kammy’s body down by the throne. I had spent whatever magic she had left, and she already had two huge bumps on her head. She’d be fine.

“Ugh! Think you’re so clever! Oh!” Cackletta hissed, holding the melting bits of her right eye together. Gross! But also awesome. Kammy didn’t even have to be conscious to pack a punch! “Fawful!”

And before I knew it, that flying freak was on me again. More like a gnat than anything, pelting me with useless balls of green fire. I’m practically made of fire! I’ve got superheated scales for days! I take baths in lava! Still, he was messing up the sheen on my shell.

A little patience… let him think he’s all that and… there! I snagged one of his squirming legs, crushing it in my grip. He let out the most hilarious scream you’d ever heard! He writhed like the little bug he was, but I just laughed in his face. Yeah, didn’t feel so good, did it?!

Now where was Cackletta?... I think I should give her a little taste of her own minion medicine!

“Hm! Oh! Oh! Distracted again! What a brute! What an oaf!” Her voice scratched through the shadows, ignoring the pleas from her precious Fawful.

“Considering this is the only minion you have; I’d say I have decent leverage in this situation!” I shouted, holding him up like a sacrifice. Where was that witch?! “Give up already, and maybe I won’t break his other leg!”

“Eeeyah ha ha ha ha! Ohhh, Fawful doesn’t need legs when he can fly!” Her voice came from behind, because of course it did. She was the type to _only_ backstab.

I turned to face her, gas burning hot against my fangs. I grinded and clicked them together, a tiny spark was all I needed, and I became a Koopa flamethrower!

“Oh, I have to laugh!” she said, laughing. Of course. The Cackletta I set on fire exploded into chittering bats. I should have known!!! The _double_ backstab! I turned around again, but it was too late. She held out an arm, and her shadow shot out from under her cloak. “You idiot! You dope! You buffoon! Can’t even tell which is the real me! Ha!”

The shadow reached my feet and enveloped me whole. Or should I have said hole?! Gahaha! I’m making puns to show I was definitely _not_ terrified falling through the endless void of darkness and nothingness! Who cares that I didn’t know which way was up, which way was down, and that the crushing weight of her dark magic threatened to crush my skull and/or leave me insane!

I still had Fawful trapped in my claws. He was screaming in terror the whole way with me until we suddenly found ourselves smack down on the castle floor, spat out of the ceiling like a Yoshi who had eaten too many cookies.

Dirty trick, even for her. Fawful was knocked out cold, his tongue lolling out of his huge mouth. A few teeth were even missing. Well, whatever. One less creep to worry about, and only one more to go. It’d take more than some parlor tricks and a trip to the negative world to stop me.

“Still going, hm? My my, your body is quite the tough one!” Cackletta said with a sneer, green and pink goop melting over grinning teeth.

“Yeah, sucks you’re stuck in that crusty old woman’s body, huh?!” I countered, shaking off the last bits of dizziness from the fall. “How about I free you from your crony prison!?” I dashed towards her, adrenaline coursing through my veins.

Oh, the sight of her falling apart like that!

It awakened a beast in me I had long since forgotten! Finally, a battle I can win! A battle where I can rip the other to _pieces_ and you know what?! I don’t even have to feel bad about it! She’s a bad guy! Not just any bad guy, but pure _scum_! I could take pleasure in boiling her up and drinking her remains like a soup! I’d sleep like a baby knowing I got to go back to my old evil ways and still do a good deed too! Gahahaha!

Cackletta’s free hand sent bolts of lightning out of her yellowed fingertips. They stretched and they grew, but I didn’t let it stop me! I shielded the important parts of me (my face) and powered through. The little bolts of electricity hurt, but oh boy, they wouldn’t compare to the hurt I was going to bring to her.

For some reason, even though her lightning bolts weren’t stopping me, even though her face was melting, Cackletta’s smile grew even wider, grew even hungrier. Sick freak! I tackled her to the tile and punched her last good eye in.

“Eeeyah ha ha ha ha!” she cackled, completely blind. Bolts of lightning struck my back, but they were nothing but little needles! Ugh, she was really ticking me off! Even as I beat her senseless, she kept laughing!

“Stop. Laughing!” I roared, smashing my fist down into that huge grin of hers. It was so big. So wide. I thought I could fall into it. But I kept smashing, I kept attacking. Her fangs shattered; her old teeth fell out of those rotting gums. Still, she laughed. Laughed at me! As I was _killing_ her! “ **STOP. LAUGHING**! **GRAAAAAAAAAH!** ”

Flames devoured her, devoured me! Geez, I really got worked up! I couldn’t even see in my own fire! But I felt her! I felt Cackletta melting away like a puddle in my punches, felt the way she evaporated and died to me! Me! She deserved it! Stupid pest!

And the best part!? When the flames died, when she died, it finally shut her up. It finally stopped her laughing. Oh, the silence was music to my ears! Sure, I deserved a victory theme or two here, but silence… Now that was something! I looked down at where Cackletta’s useless body had been. Nothing but a black smudge. Inky. Disgusting. It’d be weeks before the help got her stubborn stain out of the tile.

But it didn’t matter. I stopped Cackletta. I proved that _I’m_ the king. That _I’m_ the best there is, the strongest there is! With a body like mine, with a castle like mine, there was nothing I couldn’t take! Nothing! Eeeyah ha ha ha ha!

Er… hm. No that wasn’t right. Gahahaha! There. Much better. Her stupid laugh was still ringing in my head, over and over and over and over. Ugh! What a creep.

I stomped over to the unconscious and broken Fawful. Still alive. Maybe I should kill him too just to get my other good deed for next year out of the way. The world would be better off without that little freak.

But… hm… Fawful… he could prove useful, couldn’t he? A minion like that. I don’t have a minion that’d give his life for me! That’d do anything I say at a moment notice! That’d be bait if I asked! Not to mention all those little gadgets he can make…

Yeah. You know what? I decided. I’d let him live. I’d keep him. Why not. He’d make a fine trophy. That old hag, Kammy, was stirring in the rubble. She’d be waking up soon. Annoying. Wait… why was that annoying?

I took a seat up on my throne, overlooking _my_ castle. The battle was fierce, and there were soot stains, glass, and broken bricks all over the place. A bit ugly, but it would do fine. Er… what was I thinking? I shook my head. It was getting heavy. I grinned.

I grinned and looked out over Cackletta’s shadowy stain in the tile. Dead and defeated! By me! Gahahaha! You know, maybe I wouldn’t clean that up after all. I wanted to remember the moment I beat Cackletta!

Except that isn’t what happened, is it, Bowser boy?

What? No. That is exactly what happened. I killed Cackletta and it was great! I’m great!

No, no, I don’t think that happened at all! I think you’re misremembering.

Huh? What is going on? I grinned through the fog swirling around in my head. Haha. Something was funny about this. I really was remembering wrong, wasn’t I? Ha ha ha!

Yes, that’s right… Yes… Cackletta didn’t die at all! I didn’t kill her! I couldn’t kill her! She was too strong. Too powerful. Gahahaha! It’s so funny how powerful she was! I never stood a chance! Man, what a riot! Thinking I could have stopped Cackletta!

“Y-your Gleefulness…” Kammy stuttered, puttering up before me on her stupid broom. Pah! Useless hag. What was I meant to do with an old woman with the magical power of a gnat?! “Are you all right?”

Of course, I wasn’t all right! Couldn’t she see?! I wasn’t all right at all! I couldn’t stop laughing! I couldn’t stop laughing thinking how Cackletta beat me! How she just got up from the ashes like it never happened and devoured me whole! Can’t she hear me screaming?! Eeeyah ha ha ha ha!

“Ohhh, get out of my sight!” I roared, fire belching out of my massive maw, lightning flicking off my razor-sharp claws. “Too smart to fall under my control, but too weak to matter!”

“What did you do!?” Kammy screeched, her raspy voice annoying me. “What did you do to King Bowser?!” Her rod glowed a pathetic red.

“Ah, ah, ah!” I waved a scaly finger at her. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“Eeeyah ha ha ha!” a cute little voice laughed. Ahhh, Fawful. Sweet Fawful. Even with his broken leg, he flew over to my side, his puny magic at the ready to stomp Kammy into the wall.

Kammy’s glasses flickered with panic. “You think it’ll be that easy?! I’ve alerted the Koopalings already, they’ll be here and-!”

In seconds, they busted through the big iron red doors. Everyone was here. Morton, Ludwig, Wendy… ugh. The rest. Who cares what the other’s names were. They were turtles. They surrounded Kammy, a scowl etched deep into their stupid faces.

“Last I checked, _I_ make the rules around here,” I said with a grin. “Who do you think the Koopalings are going to obey? The King of Koopas? Or some moldy hag?”

Kammy gulped.

“Ahh, but I’m feeling generous,” I said, waving off my new army’s attack stance. Sure, they should have been here earlier to deal with Cackletta, but they were _mine_ now and they’d do what I say and how I say it. “Something inside me is just begging to let you live. Eeeyah ha ha ha ha! Must have been something I ate. Oh! Maybe I just have indigestion!”

“Lord Bowser…” Kammy started pathetically. It broke my heart to see her like this. Ha! You don’t have a heart. Not anymore! “I’ll get Bowser Jr. to safety. I promise.”

Bowser Jr. huh? I have a son? I have a son! **I HAVE A SON!** Let me **GO!** No, no, no! Ha ha ha! You are misremembering again Bowser. You don’t have a son. Or… wait a minute, this is meant to be first person, ha ha.

 _I_ don’t have a son.

Kammy puttered away on that pathetic broom of hers, practically crying! Ha! Probably off to get that little Bowser Jr. Oh, but, you know what? I don’t think Bowser really _fits_ me, you know? I think that’s an old name. SUCH an old name! Such a STUPID name. Ha ha ha!! I won’t go by that anymore!

I’m Bowletta! That’s right! Like Cackletta! Ohhh, that’s right! Because she never died, did she?! She never did! She’s right here with me! Me me me me me! Cackletta! Eeeyah ha ha ha ha! Oh, and how good it feels to have this body of _mine_ and this castle of _mine_ and this army of _mine!_ Ahahaha!

It’s so funny! It was so easy! Just like I took this brand-new body, I’ll take the Bean Bean Kingdom! And then, hm, you know what? I think I’ll take some more! Maybe the Mushroom Kingdom! Maybe I’ll stop by the Piantas and take their island! Maybe for fun I’ll just take over the world!

Eeeyah ha ha ha! And you know what else? After the world is rightfully mine, I don’t think I’ll stop there either. I think I’ll dip my fingers into the _galaxy!_ Ohhh, I feel so powerful! I am SO powerful! I’ll never be stopped!

This is good! This is oh, so deliciously good! Ah, feel those fangs against my tongue! So sharp and so young! Feel that muscle bulging in this impenetrable shell! Feel the flames of the underworld broiling in my belly!! Yes! I’ll be unstoppable!

I _AM_ UNSTOPPABLE!

Eeeyah ha ha ha ha!


End file.
